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Funny bible verse


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Skissors
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Due East of my backyard
Old 06-03-2007 , 17:26   Funny bible verse
Reply With Quote #1

If you are looking for a chuckle in the bible, go to Deuteronomy 25:11-12

Online Link:http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...12&version=31;

if you dont think that this is real check your bible if you have one
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v3x
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Location: US
Old 06-03-2007 , 17:48   Re: Funny bible verse
Reply With Quote #2

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deuteronomy 25:11-12 (New International Version)
11 If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, 12 you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.
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Skissors
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Old 06-03-2007 , 18:04   Re: Funny bible verse
Reply With Quote #3

i know right
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TheNewt
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Join Date: Jun 2006
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Old 06-03-2007 , 18:58   Re: Funny bible verse
Reply With Quote #4

I like the King James version better. Its more poetic.
Quote:
11When men strive together one with another, and the wife of the one draweth near for to deliver her husband out of the hand of him that smiteth him, and putteth forth her hand, and taketh him by the secrets:

12Then thou shalt cut off her hand, thine eye shall not pity her.
Lol taketh him by the secrets!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deuteronomy 24:8-9
Warning! If a serious skin disease breaks out, follow exactly the rules set down by the Levitical priests. Follow them precisely as I commanded them. Don't forget what God, your God, did to Miriam on your way out of Egypt.
Warning! The stunts performed in this film are very dangerous!
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Last edited by TheNewt; 06-03-2007 at 19:06.
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Roach
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Internet
Old 06-04-2007 , 12:25   Re: Funny bible verse
Reply With Quote #5

Wow...

And people actually take this book LITERALLY?!?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad View Post
That sounds like a really good idea!
Now replace the word "good" with "dumb".
What was your rationale for proposing such a thing?
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Caesar
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Old 06-04-2007 , 13:07   Re: Funny bible verse
Reply With Quote #6

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roach View Post
Wow...

And people actually take this book LITERALLY?!?
lol its not like anyone actually reads from the old testemant
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Roach
Writes love letters to sawce Daily
Join Date: Jul 2006
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Old 06-04-2007 , 13:43   Re: Funny bible verse
Reply With Quote #7

You'd be surprised!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad View Post
That sounds like a really good idea!
Now replace the word "good" with "dumb".
What was your rationale for proposing such a thing?
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over_mind
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Cajun Country!
Old 06-04-2007 , 13:54   Re: Funny bible verse
Reply With Quote #8

Mark 11:12-14

The next day as they were leaving Bethany, Jesus was hungry. Seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to find out if it had any fruit. When he reached it, he found nothing but leaves, because it was not the season for figs. Then he said to the tree, "May no one ever eat fruit from you again." And his disciples heard him say it.

Mark 11:19-25

In the morning, as they went along, they saw the fig tree withered from the roots. Peter remembered and said to Jesus, "Rabbi, look! The fig tree you cursed has withered!"
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P4rD0nM3
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Old 06-04-2007 , 18:50   Re: Funny bible verse
Reply With Quote #9

I read the bible sometimes. It's a great book to get some inspiration on some of your toughest times.

Other people think the bible is shit though and most of them take it too literal. But if it's just a joke to start a laugh, that's a good one.
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Zenith77
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Old 06-04-2007 , 19:11   Re: Funny bible verse
Reply With Quote #10

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roach View Post
Wow...

And people actually take this book LITERALLY?!?
Please understand that NT Christian laws are not the same as the OT laws. It releases us from the punishment (please understand what I say here, this doesn't mean you can go around and kill everone) of those laws, and changed some of the laws such as what one eats for food, etc. And also, take into consideration that this was a time before Jesus, and that in Hebrew culture that there was a law for everything.

But admittedly, I got a chuckle to. And if you're a guy, I don't know why you're complaining it's in there =p.
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your retatred
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