PHP Code:
#include <sourcemod>
#define VERSION "0.1"
#define NAME "Fake Rank"
static const String:ranks[111][] = {
"a loser",
"classified by the CIA.",
"secretly Vladimir Putin.",
"Co-Prince of Andorra.",
"Prime Minister of Italy.",
"climbin in yo windows- snatchin yo people up",
"President of the United States.",
"squill-head",
"terrible at the game- but can suck cock like a pro!",
"grand worldwide yiffing champion for the third year in a row",
"acrid Meso-American bullshit",
"irrelevant, there is only Zuul",
"out of the closet",
"about as reliable as a Ferguson rifle",
"a great, soft, sissy, girlie, nancy, French, bender, Man United supporting poof!",
"a nice cup of tea.",
"perfectly cromulent",
"not high enough to be allowed out of the gimp suit yet",
"an overweight, over-the-hill, nicotine-stained, borderline alcoholic homophobe with a superiority complex and an unhealthy obsession with male bonding",
"a cad and a bounder.",
"sees dead people.",
"the possessor of an arsehole like a clown\'s pocket.",
"a very loose vagina.",
"too damn high!.",
"pretty terrible.",
"excluding fees, tarriffs, and charges.",
"Michael Jackson.",
"Arse Licker By Appointment to His Majesty King George III.",
"like- totally the best player ever.",
"awesome sauce.",
"00 Agent.",
"Bond. James Bond.",
"only $999.99!",
"Mayor of London",
"Viscount and Baron of the Nile and of Burnham Thorpe in the County of Norfolk; Baron of the Nile and of Hilborough in the said County; Knight of the Most Honourable Order of the Bath; Vice Admiral of the White Squadron of the Fleet; Commander in Chief of his Majesty\'s Ships and Vessels in the Mediterranean; Duke of Bronte in Sicily; Knight Grand Cross of the Sicilian Order of St Ferdinand and of Merit; Member of the Ottoman Order of the Crescent; Knight Grand Commander of the Order of St. Joachim; Colonel of the Royal Marines; Freeman of Bath; Salisbury; Exeter; Plymouth; Monmouth; Sandwich; Oxford; Hereford; and Worcester; Oxford University Doctor of Civil Law",
"Douke Noulkemn.",
"irrelevant! You could never understand how i feel *fixes quiff*",
"herpsyphogonahlitissalmahalatosisaids - C.",
"An accomplished pianist *begins scanning the room* Ladies? *creepy smile*.",
"A slutty woman who is clearly asking for it.",
"Fifty-One out of Sixty-Eight.",
"One sexy snowman!",
"A Sandwich.",
"Fart Enthusiast.",
"Jimbob.",
"Tila Tequila.",
"Mark Sanford.",
"Hung like a horse.",
"melted chicken shit.",
"Nick Nolte.",
"Misfortunate Placenta.",
"Kosay\'s Cave Club member.",
"Cockzilla.",
"Butthorn.",
"A Mullet.",
"Southern Fried Chicken.",
"The mechanisation of Soviet agriculture.",
"UFO! dum dum dum dumdumdum! dee daa dee daa deedeedaa! WOOOOOOoooOOOOOOO! WOOOoo oo oo OOOOOOooooOOOOOoooo!",
"David\'s stepladder.",
"Kiss my snatch!",
"Roger Moore gave me gonorrhea.",
"-CLASSIFIED-",
"Zionist reptile menace.",
"CHEWBACCA [CENSORED] YOU UP.",
"HAN SOLO EAT A PINEAPPLE.",
"A Snape/Harry fanfiction.",
"A bundle of small twigs.",
"Oppressor of the proletariat.",
"A funky bass solo.",
"WHAT\'S GOING ON?!",
"Spiderdad.",
"Robert Smith\'s hair.",
"god",
"A -Greek Philosopher- *WINK*",
"The innocent love between a young boy and an older man.",
"Mcnuggets.",
"all over my fayayayayaaaaace!",
"a hot potato",
"Macs: miss a turn",
"a deep fried pizza",
"a traffic bollard",
"jupas [CENSORED]",
"a hot beef",
"a small bowl of clam chowder",
"THE WHITE STRIPES GAYEST FAN",
"albino TV news reporter",
"Joe Scarboroughs dead intern",
"a broken lamp",
"a few feet of timber",
"a Labour MP",
"a half empty can of fosters",
"distinctly under 9000",
"SNAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!!",
"LIQUUUUUUUUUID!!!!",
"Lasagna Bandit.",
"Cheesewheel.",
"Tony Danza wont like you using his hottub like that.",
"Jackx\'s latest rape victim.",
"My desk feels all tilted, does your desk feel tilted? I need to know if it\'s just me.",
"NARLY!",
"RAD!",
"The fierce last stand of all i am.",
"The first martini of the day.",
"Input detected! Opening time portal! Time coordinates not detected; default destination: 1984!!!!",
"Tribal physics (E=MC SPEARED)",
"Unruly boy.",
"TUBULAR!",
"Hot [CENSORED]!",
"Smokey.",
"The Bandit.",
"not avalible right now please try again on 11.06.2192"
}
public Plugin:myinfo = {
name = NAME,
author = "Mitchell",
description = "Fakes the ranking system.",
version = VERSION,
url = "http://www.google.com/"
}
public OnPluginStart()
{
CreateConVar("fakerank_version", VERSION, NAME, FCVAR_PLUGIN|FCVAR_DONTRECORD|FCVAR_SPONLY|FCVAR_NOTIFY);
RegConsoleCmd("say", Command_Say);
RegConsoleCmd("say_team", Command_Say);
}
public Action:Command_Say(client, args){
decl String:text[192], String:command[64];
new startidx = 0;
GetCmdArgString(text, sizeof(text));
if (text[strlen(text)-1] == '"')
{
text[strlen(text)-1] = '\0';
startidx = 1;
}
if (strcmp(command, "say2", false) == 0)
{
startidx += 4;
}
if (strcmp(text[startidx], "/rank", false) == 0)
{
PrintToChatAll("%Ns \x01Rank is \x04%s", client, ranks[GetRandomInt(0, 111)]);
}
if (strcmp(text[startidx], "rank", false) == 0)
{
PrintToChatAll("%Ns \x01Rank is \x04%s", client, ranks[GetRandomInt(0, 111)]);
}
return Plugin_Continue;
}
Thanks again Bacardi! Works like a charm. See you next time my scripting "skills" fail 
Linear Mode
