[Mitchell]

not really lol. seems like a time consumming project, anyways, maybe its the tempent that you are using that makes it so lightly rendered? i didnt really look of what code you are using.

EDIT (maybe wrong?):
Im not familiar with .VMT's all too much but my coding experince says that this:

"UnlitGeneric"
{
    "$basetexture" "effects/fire_cloud2b"
    "$additive" "1"
    "$vertexalpha" "1"
    "$vertexcolor" 1
    "$translucent" "1"
}

should be maybe this:

"UnlitGeneric"
{
    "$basetexture" "effects/fire_cloud2b"
    "$additive" 1
    "$vertexalpha" 1
    "$vertexcolor" 1
    "$translucent" 1
}

EDIT3: i dont know if that would be right.